Once again and just as suddenly as last time (and seemingly earlier every year), the holiday season is upon us, but here at Room Escape Fairfax, we consider every day the holiday season. This is the part where I should come up with some explanation for this where I talk about how we as a society should strive to make the warmth, brotherhood, and generosity of the holiday season a part of our everyday lives, but I’m really just using it as a way to talk about how many ridiculous holidays there are. For every Christmas, there are a dozen holidays dedicated to incredibly specific things, be it all kinds of food, everyday items, people, or more food…there sure are quite a few holidays dedicated to food. Are you a holiday lover who watches every single one of ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas and still need more celebration in your life? These will work I guess. Are you some kind of holiday hipster who wants to find the next big holiday before it’s cool? You probably won’t find it here…and I don’t think holiday hipsters exist so find something better to do. Regardless of your relationship with the concept of holidays, you’ll learn something new, for better or worse. Here are 12 alternatives to popular holidays because that is clearly something you’re interested in.
January 16th: Appreciate a Dragon Day
New Year’s Day is fun and all, but you know what it doesn’t have? Dragons. Sure, you can celebrate the new year like everyone else, but if you want to be on top of the next big thing, you should use January to celebrate dragons. This holiday was created to explore the significance dragons carry in many cultures and folklores. What I like most about this one is how carefully worded the title is. Appreciate is an interesting verb. It isn’t enough to dedicate the day to celebrate them, you need to fully value their significance. You also aren’t intended to celebrate all dragons, the day is dedicated to celebrating a dragon. Don’t know a dragon? Neither do we…for now. It may be wise to keep an eye on Room Escape Fairfax in the next few months and see what happens.
February 18th: Battery Day
At first I was shocked and horrified to learn that such a vicious crime had been given its own holiday, but then I realized they meant the electricity kind. February the 18th is dedicated to batteries of all kinds, because why not. Valentine’s Day gets all of the love, but why give your date something they’ll never use (“oh thanks honey, I really needed that gigantic teddy bear”) when you could give them something they’ll use every day, perhaps in their phone or maybe in a flashlight! Make sure you take plenty of time this February to think about the smaller things in your life. Now excuse me while I cancel my initial battery day plans…
March 29th: National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day
Saint Patrick’s Day is nice and all, but you can celebrate Irish culture any time (especially at a local favorite restaurant/Irish pub of ours, The Auld Shebeen). As a small, locally owned company, we have a special place in our heart for small businesses. Massive chains lose something in translation between the creator’s ideas and the franchisee’s execution, but mom and pop stores often have a level of charm you can’t find in mega-corporations. My favorites around here are Woody’s Ice Cream for the feel of a vintage ice cream parlor and Havabite Eatery for delicious food and a friendly staff.
April 14th: Reach as High as you Can Day
Okay. It wasn’t that high but it was pretty fun. Now what?
May 12: Limerick Day
For a beautiful moment in May
We look at the calendar and say
Mother’s Day’s was the past
For a holiday to last
There’s none better than Limerick day
June 7th: VCR Day
We have many games set in the past, such as The Cure, which explores a World War II era hospital or our upcoming room exploring a mad-men esque office in the 60s, but for a real history lesson, why not observe VCR Day? Instead of celebrating your dad on Father’s Day like everyone else, why not watch some home movies (unless they’re as bad as mine were, then fair enough) on your good old VCR set? The convenience of cassette tapes will never be topped! Sitting around and watching grainy movies is the best group activity there is.
July 24th: Tell an Old Joke Day
July is apparently a very funny month; July 1st is simply “Tell a Joke Day”, July 24th is Tell and Old Joke Day, and on July 4th you get to watch your dumb cousin injure himself with fireworks (Room Escape Fairfax LLC does not endorse horseplay of any variety and especially not with fireworks. Fireworks are not a toy.) I appreciate any day where I get to tell mediocre jokes and not have people be annoyed at me (in a talent show when I was six, I read jokes off of popsicle sticks so you could say I’m an expert). So when something funny happens this Independence day, you can laugh knowing it’ll only get funnier. Check our Facebook page to see an animatronic friend of ours tell some old jokes in a new way.
August 8th: Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day
I’d do what I normally do and tell you why some existing holiday is inferior to my new one, but A) There’s no real holiday in August and B) There is no way it could live up to the mind-boggling specificity of Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day. Once again, I think this holiday is best when broken down. Why the stealthiness? Does it have to be a neighbor? Most importantly, does it have to be their porch? There is untapped comedy potential in sneakily placing vegetables in other places and making your neighbor wonder where they came from. Maybe try their mailbox, under their sink, a birdhouse, or on display above the fireplace. The possibilities are endless!
September 28th: Ask a Stupid Question Day
Some people seem to think this day occurs more often than it does, but I like to build up my pile of stupid questions to make this day even more special. What is soap even made of? Why did people start making waffles and waffle irons that look like that? Does Betty Crocker exist? Do I get to leave if I don’t make it out of the escape room? All of these and more can be explored to their fullest potential on Ask a Stupid Question Day.
October 31st: Increase Your Psychic Powers Day
Halloween? I haven’t heard of it, because it’s the future and everyone has realized Increase Your Psychic Powers Day is far superior. This day contains a vague, yet inspiring mandate. There are no further instructions. Find your own magic. You can’t spell ‘special day’ without ESP. As a bonus, if you still want to celebrate those lame mainstream holidays, you’ll never have to come up with another Halloween costume idea, you can just go as a psychic. The benefits are truly endless.
November 16th: Have a Party with your Bear Day
As pleasant as Thanksgiving is, it can be uncomfortable. My last few Thanksgiving dinners have been negatively impacted by politics somehow sneaking its way in every year. You know who will never judge you for your political beliefs? A bear. Bears won’t care if you overcook the turkey, burn their favorite pie, or forget the cranberry sauce. Bears will eat anything. While I assume this holiday is mostly intended for teddy bears, I’m glad it’s vague enough for bears of all kinds. What’s even better is that if you choose to celebrate your teddy bear and thanksgiving, you’ll already have plenty of stuffing! (Please pretend that was funny). Though teddy bears are always welcome in our escape rooms, please find a different group activity for real bears.
December 21st: Flashlight Day
The traditional December holidays seem to love candles, but wouldn’t you love a modern holiday to celebrate more modern light sources? I know I would! December the 21st, for one reason or another, is dedicated to flashlights. Perhaps celebrate at Room Escape Fairfax in the dark and creepy home of Molly the ghost girl, or in the opening moments of The Frightful Feast. Or go buy a flashlight. To be honest I’m not sure why flashlights need an entire day, but they always find a way to make everyone’s day brighter (that one hurt me too).
So why wait until the mainstream holiday season when you can always find some reason to celebrate the mundane, the bizarre, or the underappreciated. If you ever need gift ideas for christmas, limerick day, or anything else, or are in need of a special holiday team-building event, visit us at Room Escape Fairfax to make any of these special days more special than my incredible jokes.
Written by Andrew Nicholson